So after the whole sex talk we had with our son, he asked me about boys penises. He asked why some of them are different from others. For more on the first sex talk read “Third Grade sexcapades”
Me- What like different colors? Every person has different skin and yes penises are different colors too.
Son- No. Like some are fat and some are skinny.
Me- Yeah they are like that too.
Mostly I told them they are like the little pigs in a blanket that I make for Christmas parties or pot luck, and now his birthday. I take little mini Hillshire farms wieners with cheese already stuffed in them and wrap them with premade croissant dough add a small slice of Velveeta on it and bake for about 15 mins on 375f. Any way I explained that some boys have the dough covering the wiener all the way on both sides and some boys, like them, have had the dough surgically removed for a fee. We believe it is easier for them to clean. So he gives me this look like he doesn’t understand what I have just said to him.
Now I am thinking “Great I just put him in therapy for another 6 months”.
He says SO, Let me get this straight, you paid the doctor to cut off my croissant dough?
My husband chimes in and affirms Yes, yes we did.
My son knowing that I kept everything from when he was a baby says, Well where is it?
Me: Where’s what?
Son: My dough
Me: I didn’t save that
Son: You save EVERYTHING!
Me: Yeah not everything. Some things have quietly found other homes or gone to someone else who could use it via the Dufort Mall.
If you live up in North Idaho, the community really takes care of its own. People leave gently used items like housewares or toys that have been out grown but still would work for a little boy. My growing man boys can no longer ride the big wheels, but little cousin Hagen sure can. Then there are the angels who clean out the closets every year and pass along the pairs of shoes or snow boots that is just your growing man boys size. All scores at either the Dufort Mall or Sagle Thrift store. I’ve gotten 2 jackets, 2 pairs of snow pants, and 2 pairs of snow boots free. And dropped off the same in smaller sizes. Now that is some evidence of North Idaho genius. Its saves parents anywhere from $100-200 a winter with this barter system. And we have my youngest son, Nik convinced that if he helps Dad with the garbage, he will get a shot too see what’s at the mall. He usually comes home with something worthwhile.