The tale of the pigs in a blanket


So after the whole sex talk we had with our son, he asked me about boys penises. He asked why some of them are different from others. For more on the first sex talk read “Third Grade sexcapades


Me- What like different colors? Every person has different skin and yes penises are different colors too.


Son- No. Like some are fat and some are skinny.


Me- Yeah they are like that too.

mini pigs in a blanket
mini pigs in a blanket

Mostly I told them they are like the little pigs in a blanket that I make for Christmas parties or pot luck, and now his birthday. I take little mini Hillshire farms wieners with cheese already stuffed in them and wrap them with premade croissant dough add a small slice of Velveeta on it and bake for about 15 mins on 375f. Any way I explained that some boys have the dough covering the wiener all the way on both sides and some boys, like them, have had the dough surgically removed for a fee. We believe it is easier for them to clean. So he gives me this look like he doesn’t understand what I have just said to him.

Now I am thinking “Great I just put him in therapy for another 6 months”.

He says SO, Let me get this straight, you paid the doctor to cut off my croissant dough?

My husband chimes in and affirms Yes, yes we did.

My son knowing that I kept everything from when he was a baby says,  Well where is it?

Me: Where’s what?

Son: My dough

Me: I didn’t save that

Son: You save EVERYTHING!

Me: Yeah not everything. Some things have quietly found other homes or gone to someone else who could use it via the Dufort Mall.

If you live up in North Idaho, the community really takes care of its own. People leave gently used items like housewares or toys that have been out grown but still would work for a little boy. My growing man boys can no longer ride the big wheels, but little cousin Hagen sure can. Then there are the angels who clean out the closets every year and pass along the pairs of shoes or snow boots that is just your growing man boys size. All scores at either the Dufort Mall or Sagle Thrift store. I’ve gotten 2 jackets, 2 pairs of snow pants, and 2 pairs of snow boots free. And dropped off the same in smaller sizes. Now that is some evidence of North Idaho genius. Its saves parents anywhere from $100-200 a winter with this barter system. And we have my youngest son, Nik convinced that if he helps Dad with the garbage, he will get a shot too see what’s at the mall. He usually comes home with something worthwhile.

Summer Road Trips

On the road again
On the road again

The summer days seem to slip by so fast. We are half way through it and our little family has gone to the bay for birthdays galore, but no big trip this year. We are saving to get me a new car. We had talked about going to triple play since the local bowling alley closed up for good and we still might do that.

There are a few fun free things to do around town, but they all require a car to get to town and participate. It is so frustrating. I feel like I am not doing my job as a mom because I can’t even do something simple like go to the library in the middle of the week. I could ask my mom if I could borrow her car, but these days she is going back and forth to the hospital for chemo treatments and again, I would have to actually ask her. Then I feel like a selfish ass because my mom is going through liver cancer and all I want to do is go on a trip to town.

My sister in law actually takes primary care next to my Dad. My brother is gone a lot for work and she and the kids will walk over to grandmas. They check on her, have cursive lessons, or just walk around the house looking at the new flowers and fruit trees. She is so lucky to have legs that work. She just gets so tired real easy.

Its been happening for years now, but little by little my mom has let go more parts of holidays. Like before when she had her first Thanksgiving at our house it was about traditional turkey, and everything made from scratch. Scratch means butter and lard in some cases which are now a no-no foods. Then she went through a pot luck phase where everyone brings a dish that they do well that we all like. But now I think it is at the point where if we do have a holiday with all the family gathered we are about 30 people. My house is big enough for tables but my kitchen could fit in a college dorm room. There are no big counters to bake on, barely space for a coffeepot and some creamers.

I do have my Abuela’s dinner table. That is where I make things like tamales from scratch. I remember my aunt Lucy giving me the instructions but then she and Anna would add what they liked into it. Traditionally I have made the week of Thanksgiving fit into my tamale schedule. Schools almost out so there is less homework, and getting the beans sorted and soaking was always the youngest child’s job. Me and Hubby make about 4 dozen tamales. This year depending on how my mom is doing we might do the Turkey dinner potluck.

Back to summer…We might take a quick trip to Seattle to show the boys the ocean. Me and Hubbs both grew up in California, so we were born next to the ocean. I went camping on the beach more times than I can count. But camping trips are fun for kids and not so much for adults. So we will do it the easy way and just pack clothes and leave the tents at home. Nothing says vacation like room service.

Third grade Sexcapades.



So a few weeks ago my son comes home from school and says ” Mom, you will never guess what I saw at school today!!” So I guess

M-a goat?

S- No.

M- an owl?

S- noooo!

M-uhh a medal?

S-no. Mom I will just tell you. You will never guess in a million guesses.

M-ok tell me.

S- I saw a vagina today at recess.

Long pause…

M- Well you were right. I never would have guessed that.


He then preceded to tell me that this 9 year old girl in his class had gone to the field side of the playground, pulled down her pants and panties and then made an inappropriate sexual gesture with her hips and then waved him over so she could “give him some sugar”.

So as I was soaking in this bit of information, I asked him if he had any questions about all that.

S- it was different than I thought it would be.

M-What did you think it would look like?

S-You know, like a pink penis. But it was white Mom, like milk white.

He said that he told the recess duty so she put her clothes on while other kids were looking. They have recess with K-3 grades for the love! So then he tells me the sub in their class told the principal and he called my son into his office to ask him what happened out in the field. Then there was an added story of the “creepy room”. It’s an old hunting blind disguised by brush and bushes with a peephole right at the field and playground. Very creepy.  She had been taking kids in there to scare or intimidate them. The principal is having it removed from the baseball field.

So then there was the big question…

S- Mom, What is a vagina? What does it do? Is it a girl penis?


M-Well those are all very good questions. Hang on. ( while I find an anatomic drawing with not a lot of detail.)

I show him a very sparse pencil drawing of one closed vagina. He said yep that’s what I saw. But where does the pee come out? So we go to the drawing where the urethra is shown. That’s where pee comes out of girls.  Then I tell him vaginas are really where babies come out of mommies. Not from storks delivery birds.

S-That makes more sense.


So I asked him if there were any more questions. He wanted to know why that girl did those things and made those gestures with her body. I just told him that she was more than likely being abused at home. He said she told him the next week at school, “Your mom ruined my life!” Because child protection services had been called on her parents again. That was not me who called them, it was not me who got both her parents in with teachers and the principal  to no improvement in her attitude.

I do wonder if the policy we have in place for sexual harassment are geared more toward junior high and high school kids. Where are the protections for my kids who are still innocent about girls, sex, vaginas, and love gone wrong?


What about that 9 year old girl? I understand that you got to be a two income family but two parents who either don’t care or are letting it happen? How much can she take? No wonder her behavior has escalated. With school getting out there will be no accountability for the behavior that provokes her bad behavior. I wonder if CPS will follow up with them wherever it is they move? Do they even check in on children who act out at school? Because if they do, hopefully they can get her behavior under control so some learning can happen for that girl. Even if she falls through the cracks at least her school record will let the new teachers and principal know what they are in for.


My son seems to think it will be someone else’s problem next year as they have to move because step dad can’t find a job in the area.


Then after all that drama. my sweet boy still wants snuggles from me before bedtime. As I hug him and tell him mi ijho lindo, te amo. Buenos Noches  he gives me a kiss and is off to bed

I am so thankful that I have good boys. They care about helping others and doing good works for the community we live in.

Science Night at School

We were a bunch of busy busy busy people today. We had Joes soccer practice after school, My PTA meeting an hour early, then Science night at school . We could have skipped it but while I was in the meeting, They got into it and now Joe really loved the cool things he could do with science. He even brought home a physics experiment book to play around with this summer. It’s a Phineas and Ferb cartoon waiting to be written. I bring my camera to science night because last year there were some neat experiments,and I didn’t get one picture because I forgot to charge my camera. So this time I bring it, go to take one picture and it shows red flashing battery. So I am hoping it means there is at least some juice in this thing so I can take a few pictures at least. I got 3 then it shut down for good. I will check the battery the night before from now on. There is plenty going on before the kids get out of school. Joe’s signed up for soccer so the camp chairs and umbrella shelter are going back in the car. We are ready for soccer season.


Since the transmission went out in my old new to me Chevy blazer in June 2014, my social life has taken a hit. There used to be surprise runs to the Conoco for ice cream treats, fried BBQ burritos, candy, pop, gum, whatever we could find. But for 9 long months I have kept publically quiet about it. I had hope dangled in my face when Hubby’s buddy “Flippy” was going to hook him up with a car. He said his wife got a better car, so she longer wanted the 2000 Ford Explorer. So we rented a truck pull, borrowed Pop’s truck and picked it up. When he came home with it in my mind it should have been like an episode of my sweet 16 on MTV. Bow on the hood of a shiney new car good. But that was only in my mind. It was a rusty  92 explorer, the drug out of the backwoods type of car. One that would have to be exterminated as well as oil and gas changed out of it. Then there were the little things like the tail lights not working when they were on, and the overhead light not turning off ever draining the life of the new $120 battery. So then after three weekends of working on it, he tells me pick what kind of smoke you want coming out. The choices are black, blue, or white. I said none. No smoke or steam coming out would be great. He said yeah it would be, if this car didn’t already have 215k miles on it. He then goes on to explain my new car will run something along the lines of John Candy’s Uncle Buck car…The one with the backfire so loud it sounds like a gunshot and sets off all the car alarms. No. Thank You.

Then last weekend he looks at one at the local lots in town. It was kinda what I need, but there is a huge crack in the windshield. Right in the line of sight. North Idaho car drivers all have some sort of crack in their windshield because up here the funding got lost for black tar asphalt on roads. Oh no! We get good old gravel roads. Anyway, this crack was more of a bashed in head/ air bag fail type of crack. Keep looking was the best advice he could give me. So we are going on 10 months with no car. In the mean time My three nieces, and nephew have drivers licences and can drive a car. If I need a ride, the third one is a willing driver for a taco bell run on the weekends.

I will admit that the last two years I was at the school almost everyday of the week for this fundraiser or that event, I just never thought he would take it to the extremes it has gone. Really? Keeping me with out transportation in the woods is not going to work for much longer. I am eyeballing a golf cart on craigslist. I can drive it up and down our driveway like Miss Becky on an episode of Myrtle Manor.

Evening at the Beach




Today was a fry an egg on a rock kind of day. Hot and end of July go together like thunder and lightning up here in North Idaho. So when the boys asked if we could go to the beach, I said Yes! My friend Ruby was in need of some fun adventure, so she decided to come with us. We called my hubby and had him meet us there after he got off work.
The boys had fun splashing around until we got in the water with them. They keep saying that they wanted to learn how to swim for real. They already got the kicking part, and the cupping the hands crawl stroke, but they needed to put it together. So they did that and watched me and Ruby demonstrate how it all went together. Then I tried to teach them how to float. Joe, who strongly dislikes being first at anything, went first. I held him in the water under his back and legs and told him just to put out his arms and lean back like he was on the sand. He did it. Then when I thought he was good to try it on his own, I told him I was letting go and slowly let go. He panicked, got all flustered, and started crying. We were in about 4 feet of water so he was not in water over his head, but up to his chest. I told him he was ok and stood up so he could see the water was not deep. It was too late though, I lost his trust. He walked away from me muttering something along the lines of I hate you. Ruby reassured him that it feels weird at first but then it is kind of nice to float and look at the clouds. She showed him how she does it, and showed him the dog paddle or front float as she called it.
So then, it was Nik’s turn. He is a bit more of a dare devil than Joe and usually goes first at everything new. He saw Joe’s reaction and then looked worried. I told him it was going to be ok and its just like lying down. So I had my arms out and told him to just lay back. He did and immediately clutched me around the shoulders and started screaming like he was being pinched or something. I asked if he was getting pinched and he stopped screaming and said no like it was question. I said ok then stop screaming it’s just floating dude. This is not a big deal. I am right here. So he let me float him in a circle in 3 feet of water. After a few turns, he said he thought it was “kinda” fun. After hearing that Nik thought it was fun instead of traumatic, Joe came back to the water. Then Joe let me float him in a circle like I just did with Nik. But, he made sure that I would not let him go this time. So we all floated for awhile and watched the sun go down from the lake. It was like a postcard.

So we had some fears come up about trying new things but worked through it. They got to develop a new skill and want to go again this weekend.

Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life!

Diving right in

City Beach
City Beach

This past week we had a 30 minute storm that ripped through our little town and uprooted trees, hailed the size of nickels, wind gusts at maybe 50 mph knocked over telephone poles taking out phone service, and had the power go out for a day here and some places for 4 days. It was a mess. Lucky for me my sister in law and Dad were home. My dad got out his chain saw and started cutting down the trees on our road so my husband could get home. Also so teens could get to work and drivers education classes. We started in our drive way with a tree blocking our teardrop turn around. It was old and thin so we just pulled it to the side of the road to be cut up later. Then we started moving the bigger branches that littered the driveway and road and stacked them on Papa’s fire pit to be burned later. Honor was over helping my mom pick up the patio furniture that had blown over and was looking at her wild yellow rose bush that was uprooted and dragged from its planting bed. There was no hope to recover it. It was still raining while we were picking up branches, but it was a warm summer rain that no one minded. We made a plan to meet back the next day and pick up more branches in the meadow and along the road. Debris was everywhere and we estimated it would take about three days to clean it all up. Since we were still out of power and it had started to rain harder the boys took a rain shower on the deck. Lucky for them my camera is broken so I could not take pictures.

Our house is all energy star electric so when the power goes out we get out the old 1980’s phone that does not take electricity to run and call it in to our local company and usually the power comes back on in a few hours. But this time there was not even dial tone on the old phone. In the mean time there is no electricity to run the pump to the well so there is no water to flush the toilets, drink, wash your hands, do dishes, or the millions of other things you do with water. We can’t cook dinner because the stove is electric. We have no heat or fan depending on the season. I think worst of all is that there is no wireless access. We did have one redeeming feature, and that was the cell tower had no damage. I could still text my hubby who was in town and already had just the edge of the storm over his work. Just a little flicker of the lights for a half second.
Normally everything would have been fine, we already had a warm crock pot of spicey chicken ready to put into some chicken quesadillas, and the propane BBQ grill to cook it on. It was still thundering and lightening outside when he left for work so he opted to pick up some pizza and wings takeout along with a cooler full of ice for the freezer instead of grilling in the storm. He is such a wise man. After dinner by candlelight, we played the most competitive smack talking game of GO FISH I have ever played in my life. I have never laughed so hard in my life.

The boys were happy to get to stay up a little late and spend time together. I really liked not having the TV or internet for a couple nights. It seems like the boys like to hear the same stories over and over. The stories of when they were born, and the story of how we met. I am glad I took the time to print out the pictures off the computer and put them into a photo book they can look at any time. It’s amazing how fast the time seems to go by with them turning from babies to boys to man children in what seems like no time at all. Tomorrow we have plans to go to the beach to cool off in this heat when it is supposed to be a sizzling 100 degrees.

Until next time…have fun in the sun with spf 50!

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